I chose me, before you, before them - because when you realised that you've lost yourself, as if you forgot what you wanted and you started to fade away, you would know that it's time to find yourself again.
But is it selfish to do so? Is it selfish to finally acknowledge your sufferings and to give yourself the attention and care that you needed? This is not about pride, ego, vulnerability and esteem. This is about you, your need to be taken care of. Not by others, but by yourself. This is about being self-compassionate.
When you are aware of your frustration, do you immediately let yourself swirl into that pool of sadness and find something or someone to blame it on? Why not take a different approach? Why don't you take a deep breath, taking mental note of how the air enters and exits your body, the warm and tingly feeling inside, or the anger slowly fading away? And is it selfish for you to do so? To admit that you are going through a difficult moment, and to give yourself some TLCs?
I chose this. I wanted this. I wanted to love myself before I could love others. I wanted to be alone, to be on my own without having to be tied up to any relationship. I don't know how good of being alone I want to be, but I know this is the time for me to finish what I started. This is not selfish, this is healthy.
And here right now, is a good time for me to share a few basic steps that you can also do for whenever you need a little self-care:
- Put both your hands on your heart, pause and feel their warmth
- Breathe deeply in and out
- Speak these words to yourself, out loud or in silent, in a warm and caring tone:
- "This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is a part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need."
- Repeat as much as you need to
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