$21

What will you do if you only had $21 left for the next 2 weeks?

Considering:

• Your phone runs out of credit;
• Your car is running on reserved petrol;
•  One of your tyres just got punctured by a nail;

Of course there isn’t much to do but to spend wisely. So the breakdown is as follows:

• Connect to wifi whenever it’s available, meaning topping up your phone is not the most important at this moment ($0);
• You need petrol to go to work, so $10 on petrol will do just fine;
• Get your tyre fixed and this most probably would either cost you $6 - $8 or if you’re lucky, nothing

There you go, a total of $18 will be spent accordingly, leaving you with $3 left of which will be spent on your lunch. Fortunately, we live in a country where food can be bought from as low as $0.50 to $1.00 so for this week, you’ll have to survive on Nasi Katok or Indomee, whichever works.

Frankly, I am not always very wise with what I spend my money on but I’ve learned many things the hard way. After I finished my degree, I was unemployed for almost a year, where I basically had no money or allowances and if I got lucky, I would received $10 to $20 from my parents and they would’ve expected me to survive with that for a good 6 months. Then I got a job, but unfortunately for me, I worked full time and overtime for almost 3 months without any salary at all. I brought packed lunch, I would try to drive efficiently and avoid any social meet ups that would require me to spend money. During these times, my phone had been barred, my cats went on drastic dietary changes, and I was living in the most basic ways. Yes, my family does not contribute in providing food and litter for my cats.

I lost my previous job unexpectedly, which means I had very little time to save. My priority was to ensure that my parents didn’t have to pay for my car, or my credit card for at least 3 months but I went unemployed for 4 months and I’m unable to cover the payments for another 3 months because my current salary is just not enough to cover everything. By May, I was flat broke and still, I had so much on my plate that I was starting to realize that I didn’t need certain things to make my life ‘happier’ and whenever I do have money, I would immediately use them to pay for my facilities, buy food and litters for my cats and then resume to live off on zero. 

This is how I got to $21 in my hands right now. I wouldn’t have had $21 if it wasn’t because of Eid. Even with very little money, I still managed to give some to my mom because she needed it. And sometimes I underestimated just how blessed I am because sure, I might only have $1 left but that is still something. I can still fill my stomach with $1. By not questioning why I’m in this financial constraint right now, I feel like money has very little power over me.

I have faith that eventually everything will work out the way it should and that this very particular ayat from Surah Adh-Dhuhaa really changed the way I view my situations:

“And verily thy Lord will give unto thee so that thou will be content,” (Adh-Dhuhaa: 5)

The idea is that if you are grateful with whatever you have right now, no matter how little it may seem, and if you continue working hard and praying to God for help and guidance, surely He will help and when He does, it’s so sweet and beautiful.

I am a huge believer that everything comes from God and if I put my faith in His plans despite the hardships or challenges that we have to go through, it will eventually lead us to a fulfilling life, if not here then in the afterlife.

So if I only have $21, then $21 it is.