Heart Matter

"I will never understand my heart," is what I've always told myself. Deep down feeling hurt, lonely and aching to cease. 

"I don't want to wrap myself up in a relationship, or love," is what I've always told myself. Deep down feeling hurt, lonely and aching to cease.

Why does it matter how I feel anyway when they'll leave and put the blame on me. Say I was too complex, too demanding, too inattentive - when oh my heart can only burst and bleed for the sake of love. 

I don't want love if it means to get myself hurt. 

I'd be lying if I told you that I haven't met anyone who'd make my heart beat a little faster, made my sleep uneasy, and let him invade my thoughts during the day. That seeing his name popped on my phone often drew a smile on my face, even though our conversations were sometimes bland. 

But oh, who am I, what I am, to him. 

Just a friend. Just a friend, that's all. 

So I'd make him my friend. I'd make him my friend. That's all. 

But am I out of my game lately? I don't know. Maybe because I was wrong before, and I could be wrong again, and I guess I know how he feels, so what's the point now?

I am always going to be the girl you met and nothing more. So what's the point now?