For months I've been asking myself whether I've started to develop romantic feelings or I have simply confused it due to the lack of attention given and I become more and more confused as to how could I possibly fall for someone I've grown distance with and have not met in months? As much as I've tried to engage in a conversation with him, it quickly dissipates. We are slowly turning ourselves into strangers.
Perhaps, I've missed the feeling of having someone to talk to. Perhaps there was something else that I've missed but couldn't comprehend right now.
My last text was left ignored, and that's something that I've gotten used to since we've spoken less and less. Maybe he felt I was a liability after getting to know me more, maybe I was quick to show that side of me. Maybe I blew my chances when I had it. All these maybe's are making me nervous.
Part of me really wanted to just open up and be honest with how I've been feeling lately, but the remaining of it keeps telling me that I could be wrong, and I could end up getting my heart broken. Yet, I already do. Whichever part I choose to do, I still feel sad nonetheless.
I wish I could tell you everything without being afraid of getting turned down. I wish I could tell you everything and still have you in my life. I wish I could just tell you how much I've been thinking about telling you all these.
But I know well enough where I stand in your life. I know enough that this feeling is not mutual. Never has been, and I guess that's why it makes me sad. To learn that my heart was healed only to fall for the wrong person, again.
Sigh.
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