In My Dreams, We Were In Love

I dream of you, of tenderness and sweetness, then spill your name in the pages of my journal. I carry my thoughts around, sealed your name in my head and then daydream of you, of tenderness and sweetness. 

I think of that moment when our hands met, a handshake then fingers intertwined. I think of that moment when we hugged, our arms locking our bodies, the clattering of my bones and the way I just wanted to dissolve into you. We closed the gaps between our bodies and shut the lights around us. 

Sometimes, I describe a windy day like it was your laughter. You make the things around me moved. 

Then I realised that I have a very few years left before my body forgets you. 

Cliche. When I think of you or see you, my heart beats so rapidly I didn't know it was capable of a sprint. Love is different when what you touched is not the heart, but the soul. It's like you wake up twice, you feel something inside you explode and then, glitters. Not just any glitters, but the kind that tingles your organs, you kinda want to laugh and cry at the same time. 

I couldn't cry when I found out that you didn't love me. My mind was so high above the clouds, I could only love you from afar. Remember when we hugged, our thoughts were quiet because we both didn't want to say goodbye. 

Look, I still dream of you, of tenderness and sweetness. I still spill your name in the pages of my journal and called you an emotion.

You are as real as the lie we told each other that we hate each other's guts but love the dream we wish we could talk about in the morning.