Before I go

Long ago, mornings were sweeter when I saw you lying next to me. 

But for a while now, I could only wake up to thoughts of you. The unwritten intimacies that we both had were set in a world where only you and I both existed. A world that had now come to an end. 

It's heartbreaking, to lose. 

I didn't think I'd feel that heartbreak, honestly. I didn't think I was capable to feel as much as I did over the last few days, but it was one of the biggest waves I'd felt in a while. It was sleeping with nightmares and night sweats that no one knew of unless you told them. I was trembling, and my chest was caving in like I had fallen deep into the ocean. 

I didn't die but something in me did today. 

I have always loved seeing growth in you, and simply because of this, I could finally learn to accept the fact that I would rather see you smile with someone else than see you cry with me. Perhaps my ego was bruised by the thought of being replaced but all the emotions, efforts, and love that I've invested in you would never ever be the same with anyone else and truly, the memories we've created together hold such a special place in my life. Maybe Joji's Glimpse of Us might even be the perfect track to all of these. When we no longer could be a call or text away, I hope you know I'd never forget you. 

Before I end this chapter - which could merely just be a line in yours, 

You are my warmth on any cold nights.